How a non-event at a grocery store becomes a brain maze

Tiny Joy - but Taller

Yesterday I was rushing to get home after my quick little grocery run. What’s the rush, you ask? Well, I’m going home to chitty chatty with my buddy. Tell him about all the goings on in the store. Because, truth be told, I don’t write about everything that happens to me in a grocery store. I do, however, tell Barry everything. I often wonder if he knows just how lucky he is? And by the way, he’s the best listener ever! Sometimes he listens with his eyes closed but he assures me he can still hear me.

So, I missed an opportunity and now my brain refuses to let this tiny nothing-moment go. And I can’t get it out of my head. By the way, this is the reason I do what I do in grocery stores because if I don’t satisfy my curiosity, then it’s all I can think of for days to come.

Case in point. Yesterday, I saw the tallest woman in the land. Like I mean seriously tall. And skinny. She had to be 6’8” if she was an inch. I didn’t have time to look waaay up to see her face. So I wouldn’t recognize her again. Well, except that she’s seriously tall, of course.

And just as she caught my eye I saw her walking away from someone even taller. And just as thin. I’m betting he was 7’.

This is going to sound weird - but this guy’s butt was the smallest butt on a grown man I’d ever seen. And by the way, I could almost bite it, he was that tall. No I didn’t want to, I just said I could. Just giving you a visual as to how tall he was, that’s all.

Where did these people come from?

My first question should have been - how did you find each other?

Oh wait a minute, how can you not find each other, would be the better question.

I began to have different scenarios going on in my head.

The not so interesting one would be that they were siblings. Boring. Though it would explain a lot.

Another scenario is that they found each other because they didn’t notice anyone else under 6’5”. How could they?

My favourite is that there’s a dating app for very tall people. But you have to also be pencil thin and have small butts.

An obvious scenario would be they are basketball players.

What are the odds of meeting your crazy-tall height match?

Oh how I wanted to ask them. Do you think they would have appreciated my curiosity? I’m not so sure.

But what I am sure about is I’m better off asking and engaging people rather than wishing I did. Even when I do make an ass of myself. I’ve learned over the many decades I’ve been on this planet that embarrassment is better than regret. Every. Single. Time.

The world must look different when you’re that tall. You see everyone’s bald spots. You’re always being asked to get something down from the top shelf. You gotta keep your nose clean, no I mean literally, for obvious reasons.

I also started wondering what sex is like when you’re that tall? Probably the same, right? Except all legs and arms. Or what about a 5’ person with a 7’ person? Ok ok I’m going in a different direction here. I’ll ponder all this later. By myself.

If I’d only asked one of them their deal I wouldn’t be coming up with all these different scenarios.

I just hope they weren’t siblings because that would ruin everything.