Sadly, Barry passed away on Tuesday at The Carpenter Hospice. He was 72 years old.
He was a simple man. He didn’t like a lot of attention. He was shy, so he only had a small circle of people in his world — just the way he liked it.
So when he began to talk about the end and what he wanted, he was very clear. He only needed three people with him when he drew his last breath: his daughter Jenn, his sister Susan, and me.
We honoured his request.
He was proud of his daughter and her family. Barry loved his son-in-law, Eric. And the apple of his eye were his grandchildren. He loved them beyond measure. He was endlessly entertained by what new things they were discovering. Andrew at 11 years old was becoming quite the entrepreneur. He engaged in most sports and Barry really loved going to the ball diamond to watch him play. Makayla is 8 years old and is enjoying the artistic side of life. She gifted us some of her artwork and I was the recipient of some of her jewellery. She’s even just taught herself crocheting. And she does love her friends. Being with people gives her a kind of energy.
Barry was a funny man. And to me this was one of his funniest moments. I asked him to leave me his GPS chip because my twin-sister Brenda didn’t when she passed. He humorously answers: ‘Oh no, I’m going to find Brenda, grab some popcorn, and we’re going to get front-row seats to watch you. I’ll whisper to her, ‘Watch this — she’s going to turn left when she should turn right,’ and then we’ll laugh and laugh.’
He made me laugh. Often. I always wished he would let everyone see that side of him but he was shy and quiet. And quite frankly didn’t need the attention. As a matter of fact, he said the sweetest thing to me…’It’s enough for me that you find me funny’. Be still my heart.
His first love was music. All things music. Drumming. Jamming with friends. Doing the odd gig at their high school. Concerts. Just imagine seeing Jimi Hendrix at the tender age of 14 - wow! He went on to see many more concerts over his lifetime – Jefferson Airplane, Jeff Beck, Led Zeppelin, Tina Turner, the list goes on.
He took up photography after he retired from Stelco in 2005. I loved how he captured the best of the outdoors. He brought the outside inside and filled our walls with his beautiful photos.
As a matter of fact, in 2008 one of his photos was chosen for the Mayor’s Gala. He felt like a celebrity :) when he had to sign 100 copies. And then just last year, another photo was chosen for the Mayor of Burlington’s 2026 calendar. His was a fall photo and was chosen for the month of September. Auspicious because his daughter was born in September.
He loved Jim Croce’s Photographs & Memories because he lived it. ‘Not a day goes by when I don’t have a song in my head and a photograph in my mind.’
And I wouldn’t be doing justice to Barry if I didn’t mention his grit. His quiet grit. The last two years had been challenging once the cancer spread to his bones. We wondered how much time he had. We came to learn that there are only guesses at best.
January 29th his bloodwork indicated a marked decline. Consequently, they thought he only had about a month. And then the month came and went. And on March 5th another prognosis – weeks. So what did he do? He dared himself to ‘dip my toe into April’. Why April? Because it was stretching the bounds of the weeks prognosis, of course. No one was going to tell him when he was going to go.
So, he not only dipped his toe into April but decided a nice little swim would be his reward. And on April 7th he quietly passed away.
But 26 hours before he took his last breath he asked to be sedated. He was tired. His decision. His timeline. The sedation did not hasten his passing. But rather it gave him much needed peace.
His grit knew no bounds.
So, my man - this family man - this quietly strong man did it his way.
Quiet in nature. Strong in spirit. Forever in our hearts.