Lessons from the Least Likely

Even the people who drive us nuts can offer wisdom—if we’re curious enough to ask.

Years ago I worked with a single mother who was an annoying, nosy-parker who loved to gossip. I know I’m sounding judgy and uncharitable, but that’s the truth of it. She was insufferable.

Having said all that - she taught me some things I’ll never forget. And no it’s not about being kinder - even though it should be.

Sometimes we’d have the pleasure of one of her three adult sons visiting her in the office. They were amazing men. They always treated her with great respect.

They weren’t just polite—they were openly affectionate with their mom, which you don’t always see. It was very endearing. And as a bonus, they were all well-educated and seemed well-adjusted.

I’m nothing, if not curious—I had to know how she did it. What was her secret?

I didn’t expect much—but those stories have stuck with me. She may have been annoying as hell but she left an impression on me. And not for the annoying part but for the advice part.

She definitely had her priorities right. Her family came first. Always.

Her first story was that two of her boys had long hair growing up and she often was criticized for not cutting their hair. Her easy reply was—there are other more important things to worry about. Length of hair doesn’t even rank. They’re happy so I’m happy. It’s just hair.

I wished I could be more like that—able to let the small stuff go.

And here’s her other pearl of wisdom—she used the good dinnerware all the time. Her children were more important to her than company. I began to see why her children treated her with such respect. And everyone they met. Because she had respect for them.

She changed my life in that way as well. I didn’t have fancy dinnerware to start using—but I took her point to heart and applied it more broadly. So for example, it’s more important to consider my husband’s feelings vs keeping others happy. I’m not always successful but I always try.

I was happy I asked her how she did it otherwise I never would have learned these important lessons.

Did it change my opinion of her? Yes and No. It didn’t stop her being the most annoying person in the office but it did help me understand her better.

Turns out, wisdom doesn’t always come with likability.