As a way of staying connected to my beloved twin sister, Brenda, who passed away 2 years ago, we started corresponding to each other. I kept the letters private for a while, perhaps to feel closer to her. But now, I’m ready to share them with you.
So, I’ll begin at the beginning…
Deb: Bren, where are you?
Bren: I’m in Mirthara! It’s a place of endless delight. A joyful sanctuary where laughter echoes in every corner. You know that expression, Love is in the Air? Well, that’s how it feels here - love, laughter and pure joy fill the air.
Deb: That sounds beautiful! Do you miss me, Bren? Well, any of us?
Bren: No Deb, I don’t, but that’s because I’m with you all the time. All of you. I walk beside you. And for the record, I try to guide you, but you are one stubborn woman, I’ve got to say. You’re not listening to me!
Deb: Whaaat? You’re guiding me? Well, why don’t you speak up? Talk louder.
Bren: haha - if only. Just listen to your heart, not your brain. What do you really want to do? You have the answers inside. You are just not believing in yourself enough.
Deb: I know. I feel a bit wobbly as though I’ve lost my footing. Lots going on here. I have never second guessed myself as much as I have over the last few years, such as my relationships, the decisions I make, or don’t make. It’s exhausting.
Bren: Remember Deb when we used to say that we’ve lost our centre? That’s where you are now and unfortunately, you’ve been there awhile, but I can see you coming out of it. My only advice to you right now - is to only do what makes YOU happy. That’s important. Very important. Don’t do something because you feel obliged. Phooey on that!
Deb: Phooey! Did you just say phooey???? You now say Phooey instead of the F word? That’s so cute. Do you not use the F word, anymore?
Bren: No, and you should stop saying it too, Miss Potty Mouth. I thought you were going to stop swearing?
Deb: Ya I know. It just didn’t take. On another note - you’ve been gone 2 years now, Bren. It feels like forever sometimes. Does it feel like that for you too?
Bren: No, there is no such thing as time or distance in Mirthara. It’s a place that doesn’t have boundaries or limitations of any kind. Just know, Deb, that we live in pure joy here. There are no regrets or sadness or evil or hate or judgment.
Deb: Do you feel sad if we’re sad or struggling?
Bren: No, because in Mirthara, everything is as it should be. I may want you to take a different path, but I’m not attached to your decision. Your decision does not make me sad nor happy. It just is.
Deb: This is difficult to understand, Bren. Mirthara doesn’t sound real.
Bren: And it isn’t real to you because it’s eternity! For instance, I don’t need sleep, so if you were here with me I wouldn’t be falling asleep on you when you tell your stories. Your many many stories!!
Deb: I don’t tell boring stories!!!
Bren: No, you don’t tell boring stories!! Just lots of stories!
So please Deb, continue writing to me even though I already know how you’re doing. Us being pen pals will help you heal. And never worry about upsetting me, because all I experience is joyous contentment. Regardless of what’s happening to you and others. So prattle on, dear Debbie, prattle on!!!
Deb: I’ll always remember your advice to anyone who would listen that you must have an indoor hobby just in case you find yourself not being able to go outside and tend to your garden, or go biking, or swimming or whatever outdoor activity you enjoy.
So, it got me thinking that I should also look for an indoor hobby. I write, as you know, but not all day. I wanted another hobby. And sewing had been calling me for quite some time and then you gave me your sewing machine so it was kismet.
Guess what I’m sewing? Baskets, card and book envelopes. And my latest is the crossbody bag which is turning out to be my favourite.
Bren: Good for you, Deb! I know it’s been a blessing for you. And I’m quite surprised that you have patience for it. I didn’t see that one coming!
Deb: Right?? Me neither. Patience has never been my friend, but I’m surprised. And by the way, did you know I’m a braggart?
Bren: Yes
Deb: Yes? You mean, I am?
Bren: Of course you are. You had to know this! Why are you asking?
Deb: Well, because I’m learning that many people in my sphere are already engaged in creative endeavours, but I’m the only one who brags about it and shares photos of my latest projects.
Bren: Yes, that sounds like you!
Deb: I’m contemplating writing a blog called Braggarts Brigade and asking those who are doing their ‘creative thing’ to post on it - mostly so I can post mine and not feel guilty about bragging. But shhhhh don’t tell anyone that’s why I’m doing it, ok??
Bren: You’re too funny. And your secret’s safe with me.
And I see you continue to make fun of me with your stories like the fishies story of us at Blue Lake.
Deb: Come on Bren. Ya gotta admit it was funny. What about the time you couldn’t remember your date’s name? By the way, how did that turn out? For the life of me, I can’t remember.
Bren: Oh yeah, his name was Peter. He called a few days later and when I picked up, he was all like, “Hey, it’s Peter!” You’d think that would help, right? While it narrowed it down, I couldn’t remember if it was the guy whose name I’d forgotten or another guy I went out with named Peter. Anyway, it sorted itself out when we went on another date. I thought it would be funny to share the story of forgetting his name. But guess what? He did not find it amusing. How is that possible? Dude, I spent a whole evening with you without knowing your name. How can you not find that funny? Well, that just added to the story. I’m surprised you don’t remember us laughing about it, Deb. So, of course, I couldn’t continue going out with him - he clearly wasn’t for me.
And by the way, you were not immune to embarrassing moments yourself, Debbie Dunne.
Remember, in Grade 6, when they had a fire drill and forgot to tell us it was just a drill? I still laugh at what you did. I wasn’t in your class, but somehow, by recess, the entire school knew, and you never lived it down!
The alarms went off, and while most people would calmly evacuate, you had other ideas. You bolted straight to the window, ready to jump—from the second floor! The boys were cheering you on, and you were actually considering it until the teacher walked in, saw you on the ledge, and burst out laughing. He had to remind you it was just a drill and to please step back inside. Seriously, Deb, you were 12—wasn’t that old enough to know not to jump out of windows?
Deb: Feel better? Are you happy now that you have reminded me of one of my more embarrassing moments?
Bren: Sure do! Ok Deb, I’ll sign off now…but keep writing those letters! And just know I’m always with you! Always. And with everyone I’ve left behind. Tell them that, ok?
Deb: Love you to Mirthara and back, Bren