The Conundrum

The tale of a pen that won’t cooperate.

What I want to write and what wants to be written are two different things in my world. At least it has been lately.

I sit down to write one thing, but my pen insists on something else. How is that even possible?

Do you think this happens to everyone else? Or is this a me problem?

Oh wait—maybe it’s the pen’s fault. Maybe the pen has a mind of its own. What if that were true? That would be crazy, right? But it would explain a lot.

I’m trying to write a fantasy. A continuation of Brenda’s world—Mirthara.

Do you know how frustrating it is to have an entire world to invent—and come up completely blank? I mean, I can create anything I like. I can make up creatures. Places. Things that go bump in the night. The possibilities are endless—and yet, somehow, my brain is not on speaking terms with them. It’s wide open and I have NO ideas. None. Nada.

Ridiculous.

What is the pen writing instead? A more philosophical type of story with Brenda being the wise one. Because, you know—she’s dead. And you know what that means—she’s wise now! She knows EVERYTHING!!! I’ll bet she’s loving that role.

For months on end I’ve been trying to write this story but every time I put pen to paper, it comes out completely different from what I want.

What if the pen is trying to tell me something? Write this story the way I want you to. If you do, I’ll free up your imagination for Mirthara. I promise.

So now I’m bargaining with a pen? If that isn’t trippy, I don’t know what is!

This is where fiction meets reality. Where the pen dictates to the writer what they should write about. Or maybe need to write about. It makes me wonder if I was ever in control of my pen. Has it all been an illusion?

Then again, what if listening to the pen does set my imagination free? And I create a new world. Maybe Mirthara isn’t the utopia I was dreaming about. When you think about—how fun can it be if it’s all love and nicey nice?

What if there’s good souls and bad souls co-mingling. Or maybe they see everything we’re doing. And I do mean everything. That could be embarrassing and cringe-worthy. It’s already giving me the heebeejeebees thinking about it.

But the truth of it is—I can’t seem to write the Mirthara story anyway. So I’ll just have to write the philosophical version of my story. It’s clearly what the pen wants.

Wait a minute—maybe this is Brenda speaking to me. She wants me to write her as the wise one. I can totally see that. Can’t you?

So, I don’t see a conundrum anymore, do you? Just write what that bossy pen wants you to write, Debbie.

And then…Mirthara will come alive! Miss Bossy Pen promised.