The Day Everything Changed

How One Decision Shaped the Rest of My Life

July 7, 1975 is forever etched in my mind.

50 years ago today is when I left home!

I was 19 years old.

‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’

I was petrified.

I was leaving my family.

My friends.

Everything I knew.

Even so, I felt I needed to ‘escape’. Escape from what exactly? I guess my parents. I was living at home and felt it was time to go out on my own. Have some adventures. See the world.

To become independent.

So where did I go? How did I come to these decisions?

Well, I was 18 years old in November 1974 and my boyfriend and I had yet another fight. Things hadn’t been going well for awhile. So after this particular fight, I realized that I needed some time away. To think about my future.

The first thing I did was quit my job. I realize this seems counter to thinking about a future. But trust me, it was the right decision.

And how did I know this? Well, as luck would have it, my grandmother, aunt and uncle were driving to Florida the following week. I asked if I could join them and possibly stay for a few weeks. They readily agreed. I will never forget their generosity in allowing me to tag along. They never made me feel as though I was intruding. They couldn’t have been kinder to me.

I loved the warm sun. It fed my soul. I swam in the cold ocean. Sat on the beach alone. Took long walks. Read on the balcony. It was so peaceful and quiet.

I was an outgoing teenager who normally liked parties and being around lots of people but not then. I needed peace and quiet. It was perfect.

I never talked to them about why I was there. Or the big decisions I was struggling with and they never asked. I think they knew I was sad. But they didn’t press me. I was grateful for that.

I slept in the same room as my grandmother. She told me that I laughed in my sleep. It made me happy to think that in my dream world I was enjoying myself.

It took me about 3 weeks before I started to feel myself again. I was making some interesting decisions and was now looking forward to going home. It was mid-December — a few days before my birthday when I arrived home.

First things first – I was going to break up with my boyfriend.

Next decision - get a job.

Third and final decision — move!

I felt relieved that I had made these decisions but now I had to put them into action.

My boyfriend took the news badly. Trying to change my mind. But I was solid in my decision. I knew it was the best thing for me. We’d been together for about 1.5 years. Long enough to know if it was right or not.

Then I got a job. Jobs were crazy easy to get in the 70s.

Now for the move! That was a bigger deal.

Because I had decided to move to Calgary! Over 3,000 kms away.

I could have easily gotten an apt in downtown Montreal where I commuted every day for work.

But I wanted to go far enough away so that I could become independent. I felt that maybe I wouldn’t be able to achieve that if I was still close to home. Plus it didn’t have that adventure component to it.

Some people asked why I didn’t just move to Toronto if I wanted to be far away. Toronto was only about 500 kms away. Again, it was too close.

I was pretty sure that I would have bad days. That’s just life isn’t it? If I was sad or lonely or feeling depressed – would I just run home on weekends to feel better? How would I make a life in Toronto if I kept running home when the going got tough? No, that wasn’t the answer either.

Calgary was the answer.

Now I had to pick a date. I thought that I could probably save enough in 6 months.

Considering I got home from Florida in mid December - I chose July 7, 1975.

It was smack dab in the middle of Calgary Stampede. I thought that would be fun. I would be 19. Everything seemed fun at 19. It was going to be such an adventure. I was so excited.

Now came the hardest part: saving money. I was a teenager who didn’t know the value of a dollar. I found it almost impossible to save. July 7th was fast approaching and I wasn’t quite ready to go, financially. But I’d be damned if I was going to change my plans. I felt that if I didn’t go then, I would never go. Probably a bit melodramatic but I was a teenager. So what did I do? I went anyway. Short on funds but rich in optimism.

I didn’t know it then but I was already beginning to learn to believe in myself. This decision alone would take me far.

It was time to try out my wings!

It’s now 50 years later!

Would I have done anything differently?

No! It set me up for life really – as tough as it was at the time.

I learned to embrace risk.
I learned never to let fear stand in my way.
I learned that I have to believe in myself. Always.

I’ve carried these lessons with me every day since!

July 7, 1975—the day everything changed!