The Magic of the Half-door
How a half-door helped me see adulthood with fresh eyes.
Were you one of those teens, eager to grow up to be an adult? Not me. The thought of becoming an adult terrified me. I wanted to stay just where I was - a pimply faced teenager who wondered if Peter actually loved me because he glanced my way in the hallway, don’t you know. I was pretty sure that this time he looked at me for an extra two seconds, which we all know means he likes you. Everyone knows that. Now I just had to wait for him to ask me out. And wait and wait. Ok maybe being a teen wasn’t all that fun, but being an adult didn’t seem like a picnic either.
The only advantages I could see to being an adult was that I would finally be old enough to drive and drink (though not at the same time, of course), stay up as late as I wanted (which is about 10pm), and live on my own. But beyond those reasons, I had no desire to be an adult.
Adults were scary creatures to me. What on earth did they talk about, anyway? I was about to learn the inner workings of the adult world.
One of my first jobs was as a telex operator. Lillian was my boss. I think she was 40 but everyone over 25 looked 40 to me. Can’t explain why. She had coiffed blonde hair that I thought was old-fashioned, which was incongruent with her fashion style. Her outfits were amazing. She coordinated everything - from her nail polish to her lipstick to her shoes and bags. And she smelled incredible. That’s when offices allowed perfume. I remember thinking that when I grew up, I’d like to dress (and smell) just like her!
Our office was a small, dingy, windowless office with 2 telex machines that hummed away all day, either receiving or sending messages. Amazingly, her long fingernails did not interfere with her typing. Clickity-clak, clickity-clak all day long.
You could tell she’d been doing it for a long time because of her speed and accuracy. She could send telex messages all over the world in real-time. It wasn’t necessary for her to type on a tape, make the corrections and then send the telex by tape, which, of course, was very time consuming. On the other hand, I made way too many mistakes in real-time, so I had to type to tape and make corrections and then send. She could do 4 or 5 for every one I did. How I kept that job for as long as I did, I’ll never know.
But what I liked most about our dingy little office was the door. It was a half-door. A friendly door. People would lean on the shelf of this magical half-door to chitchat. Lillian was certainly popular. Everyone who stopped by talked about their daily lives and things such as men, sex, makeup, clothes, feeling fat some days, sexy other days, broken hearts, first loves. Everything me and my teenage friends talked about except we called them boys. Oh, and about the sex part - as teenagers we had our own language such as, did you let him feel you up? Did you go to first base with him? Or was it second base? Or the biggie was - did you go all the way? I never heard these grownups talk like that. They obviously had grownup sex. I guess that differed from teenage sex.
But they also talked about mortgages and taxes and the stock market, so I zoned out on those conversations. Way too adult for me. What did I know about mortgages or the stock market? I was living at home with Mom & Dad. That seemed way too grownup for me. I’ll pass.
Mostly women stopped by our half-door to pass the time. There seemed to be no subject that was off limits. You’d think we were hairdressers or something.
Mary was mad because one of her girlfriends was flirting with her boyfriend at a party the night before. Say what? Adults do this too?
Betty was crushing on some guy in the office. What the heck is going on here? I felt like I was back in high school. I asked her if he looked at her for an extra two seconds.
And then there was Patricia. She would talk about everyone in the office. And not in a good way. Oh, so you’re that person - you’re the gossip. So adults can be gossips too. Who knew?
The differences between adults and teenagers were narrowing minute by minute.
Lillian had a great story about her nail polish, of all things. She would mix 2 different colors to make the most beautiful colors. What was even more fun to hear was that she didn’t have sex on the nights she did her nails because it would ruin her nails. Oh my gosh, we laughed.
I loved when Claire would stop by because she had marvellous stories. Something I did not expect from her. She was a tall, slender, well-dressed redhead who had these piercing green eyes. Claire definitely turned heads. Her style was almost regal with her upturned nose and reserved manner. I will always remember the story she told us about her husband. At lunchtime, she would go shopping and buy the most incredible clothes. But here’s the kicker: she would hide them from her husband. But didn’t he see you wearing them later? Yes, but I just told him, I bought them a long time ago and say something like, you remember, I showed you. And I guess he felt guilty about not remembering, so he just dropped the subject. Again, we laughed ourselves silly. But having to hide it from him confused me. I guess that’s one of those adult things made worse because she was married. So now married people freaked me out too. I’m not blaming Claire for me getting married a little later in life (at 41), but you can see how this story might have left me a bit scarred, right?
And I had a soft spot in my heart for Sally, who was a short, curvy woman who had a big beautiful smile with sparkling blue eyes which contrasted nicely with her black pageboy haircut. Sally was easygoing and ready to laugh at a moment’s notice. Her marriage was fast approaching, and she wanted to lose 10 lbs for the wedding. She felt that 10 lbs on a short person looked like 20 on a tall person. The education I was getting here was worth its weight in gold.
I was just as surprised as anyone when I discovered I felt quite comfortable with these adults. I realized they were just teenagers dressed up as grownups. Who knew? I had lots to talk to them about. I even became friends with some of them. Adults! 17-year-old Debbie had adult friends. Pinch me!
Their everyday stories helped me to navigate my world as I transitioned from being a teenager to an adult. They had a big impact on me even though I’m sure they never knew it. I realized that we all wanted the same things - to be seen, heard and loved. And to have friends with whom we could share our secrets with and laugh and cry together. As far as I could see, the only difference was they dressed better than me and my friends!